The Struggles of Leading the Section

Being an alto in a choir is difficult. Especially in a high school choir. All the other sections think that our part is so easy. We don't have to screech out high notes that break glass or sound low notes that rumble through the earth. However, our parts are full of sharps, flats, and sudden changes in rhythm. Nobody can ever tell though because the other sections are singing too loud even though the sheet music says mezzo-piano.
Right now, I am in my senior year of high school and my experience in a high school choir has taught me A LOT. I've learned that usually the girls who are put in the alto section are the ones who are afraid of singing loudly. They are also afraid of any note higher than a G4 (although sometimes they're afraid of those too.) I was one of those people during my freshman year. I wasn't afraid of high notes but I was afraid of being heard. In fact, I used to try screeching out the E7 at the end of The Phantom of the Opera before I realized that it didn't really sound like music when I sang it (I only did it at home, never at school.)
During my freshman and sophomore year, there were older girls in the alto section that knew the parts and sang very loudly, and I would always try my best to listen to them, but I could never hear them even if they were sitting right next to me because the sopranos were so loud.
When my junior year came around, those older girls had just graduated so we were stuck with a section of quiet altos who didn't quite know the parts. I sat right in the middle of the section and I heard absolutely nothing around me. Three of us knew the majority of our part but three voices in the alto section will definitely not be enough to defeat the loud and proud voices of the sopranos.
During senior year, I was the only alto to have lasted four years in choir and I was the one who had to lead the section. I tried my best but my lone voice was drowned out by the sopranos who were across the room from us. I really did try. Another problem was that the altos would get confused and start to sing the soprano parts instead. When I first started choir, I asked to be an alto but later on, when the director would reevaluate our voices, he would keep placing me back into the section because I was the alto with the most experience.

There were about four more altos than sopranos but the only sound that I could hear from my section was my voice. Occasionally, I did hear other voices but that was a rare occurrence.
During our Halloween concert, also known as the "Creepy Concert," we sang a medley of The Phantom of the Opera (there were no E7's, thank god), and my sister-in-law recorded the whole ten minutes of it. I had caught a cold recently and my voice was not quite up to par, but I sang as loudly as I could. My ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton and I couldn't hear myself very well. I couldn't hear the other altos either. Near the end of the medley, my voice cracked a little bit because of the air pressure I was using to try and project my voice. I thought to myself, 'well nobody heard that because I can't hear myself well so I must not be that loud.'
Later on, I listened to the recording and to my horror, I could hear myself very well. At the end of the video, you could hear my voice waver a bit when it cracked. That video hurts my soul. Not only because you could hear my voice crack, but because only I could be heard singing the alto part. My voice passed as the whole section on its own. That might seem like a good thing but honestly, if the whole section was louder instead of just one voice, the crack could've been covered up. If one person makes a mistake, usually covered up by the rest of the section so that the audience won't hear it. However, I was the only one who could be heard and so my mistake was heard fairly well.
It is so very difficult to be the loud alto. If I just lowered my voice a little bit during rehearsals, the director would stop everything and tell the whole section to be louder. That meant no breaks from trying to project more loudly than the sopranos for me.
Although being the only loud alto in my choir was stressful for me, I felt proud that I was the loud one. Knowing the music and my parts was a source of pride for me. I am proud that I was a part of the alto section for four years. While the sopranos were proud of singing high notes, I am proud of all the low harmonies full of flats, sharps, and random rhythm changes I had to sing.
Even though being the leader of the section was difficult, I am proud of being a loud alto. <3